Romance Throwdown
by Sarahdbaugh
Summary: What happens when Jacob and Emmett have a contest about romancing their wives? Kind of follows La Push's Own Soap Opera... but you don't have to read to understand... but you could. :-


A fun little one-shot. Kind of follows La Push's Own Soap Opera... but you can understand without reading that one. :-)

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Romance Throwdown**_

"You are so whipped!" Jacob Black shouted across the room. Emmett Cullen rolled his eyes and plopped down on the couch in the spacious house.

"No I am not. I have never been. Rosalie knows who wears the pants in our relationship and it's me," he stated calmly.

A quiet chuckled came from the stairs and both Emmett and Jacob turned quickly to see Edward standing at the base of the stairs.

"Shut up, Eddie. We all know Bella has you wrapped around her dainty little finger." Emmett taunted, grinning at his use of Edward's most hated nickname.

Edward just shrugged. "That's how I like it. She can tell me what do whenever she pleases. I'll do whatever makes her happy."

Both Emmett and Jacob looked disgusted.

"Cool it pops," Jacob complained. "But seriously. Renesmee doesn't have me whipped! I am my own man."

Edward raised his eyebrows. "Sure, sure." He answered sarcastically, using Jacobs own overused words. "It's not like you spent her entire life doing exactly what she asked of you."

"HA!" Emmett yelled. "See! You're whipped!" He jumped up and raised his hand to Edward for a high-five.

Edward ignored his hand and looked at Emmett amused. "You don't think you're whipped? You've spent your entire immortal life trying to make and keep her happy. Rose doesn't even have to ask you to do things. She has you trained. One look from her and you do anything she wants."

Emmett's face fell and Jacob roared with laughter.

"What's so amusing, pup?" Jasper drawled from the front doorway. He calmly walked towards Emmett and punched him on the arm in greeting.

"Emmett, Edward and I were just discussing our women and the extreme control they have over us." Jacob answered, still chuckling.

"Jasper is just as whipped as I am!" Emmett accused, sounding a bit sulky.

Jasper just chuckled. "In some ways Emmett, but it's not like it doesn't have its rewards." He winked and grinned suggestively. "I mean, I gave up my entire lifestyle to be with Alice. I'd do anything she'd ask."

Emmett rolled his eyes again, "I'm beginning to think that the only one who has control over his wife is Carlisle!"

"That is because Carlisle married the sweetest woman alive. Esme wouldn't dream of demanding anything from him. He has it relatively easy." Edward calmly replied.

"It's not without its trials boys," Carlisle answered, walking slowly down the stairs. He had obviously heard the conversation from his study. "I find it's easy when your wife is properly romanced." And with that Carlisle let the room. The sound of his BMW faded as Carlisle left for his shift at the local hospital.

"I romance my wife all the time!" Emmett growled.

"Sure, Sure." Jacob answered, "But I think Carlisle means more than a roll in between the sheets every night."

"You aren't exactly the king of romance yourself Jacob." Edward inserted.

Jacob glared over at Edward. " I built Renesmee a house! Just for us, I'd call that romantic!"

Edward shrugged, "Okay fine. I guess that was romantic."

"I have an idea." Jasper grinned at Edward. Edward's returning smile was huge.

"That is a good idea Jasper." Edward replied to Jasper's thought.

"What??" Emmett growled, impatient at the silent conversation he wasn't privy to.

"Yeah!" Jacob agreed, "What are you thinking, Jasper?"

"Well, I was thinking you two could have a friendly competition. Edward and I are perfectly content with our marriages, so we can judge. We think you two should do one huge romantic gesture for your wife. Winner gets bragging rights."

Emmett grinned, any excuse for a competition. Jacob just smiled back, confident that he would win this easily.

"Rules," Edward began and both Emmett and Jacob grimaced. "No trips. Maximum cost is $1000 dollars and it has to be public, but obviously without revealing what we are." He looked from Jacob's face to Emmett's. "Let the best mythical creature win."

The women arrived at home a few hours later to a quiet house. Bella set down her bags in the entryway as the rest of them ran up the stairs to find their significant others. Edward was seated at his piano in the next room.

"Where are Jacob and Emmett?" Bella asked her husband, greeting him with a kiss.

"They're working on a new competition. You'll see eventually. This one will actually be worth witnessing." He grinned down at his pretty wife. She just rolled her eyes.

**

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Two Weeks Later**

It took Emmett a while to think of a creative way to romance his wife. He was at a loss, most of his romance skills were in the bedroom, and that wasn't going to help him with this challenge. That first night he paced around the house trying to think of a good idea. He stumbled across Alice and Renesmee watching a movie in the theater room.

"What are you…"

"Shhh! This is my favorite line!" Renesemee hissed.

"I want you, I need you. Oh baby, oh baby."

Instead of leaving, Emmett sat down and watched the rest of movie with them. And that's how he got his idea.

"So," Jasper leaned up against the bleachers in the high school gymnasium, "How did he manage to get an assembly set up as a student?"

Edward smiled, "It seems he convinced the principal over the phone that they needed a fire safety assembly."

Jasper grinned up at him and walked towards Alice, who was waving from a seat in the very front row, middle section.

"What are you doing here?" Jasper asked confused, usually they tried to sit in the back.

Alice just grinned, "Emmett asked me to. Hey! There's Rosalie!" She waved Rosalie over and Edward, Bella, Renesmee and Jacob followed soon after.

The lights dimmed and a spotlight flashed over the top of the bleachers into the balcony. The first few measure of a song played before Emmett stepped out into the spotlight. He was dressed in a dark grey suit and matching fedora. With a microphone in hand he leaned over the railing. His eyes locked with Rosalie's.

"You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off of you."

He jumped agilely over the rail and began his slow decent down the stairs.

"You'd be like heaven to touch. I want to hold you so much."

Rosalie's mouth hung open in shock but she quickly snapped it shut. Glaring straight ahead, she avoided Emmett's eyes.

"At long last love has arrived and I thank God that I am alive."

Jacob snorted and poked Renesmee's leg. She glared up at him and slapped his leg, but couldn't help the grin that snuck back onto her face. It was quite obvious that Rosalie was pissed.

Emmett stood directly in front of Rosalie. Dropping to one knee in front of her, he tried to grab her hand, but she snatched it away.

"You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you."

He finished singing and pulled her roughly into a hug. She couldn't resist his strong arms but whispered harshly into his ear.

"You will regret this, Emmett Cullen!"

That afternoon, Carlisle Cullen received his first phone call from a principal. Emmett would be serving detention every afternoon this week.

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**The next day**

Renesmee woke the next morning to the scent of roses. She rolled over to greet her husband with a kiss but found the bed empty. Instead she found a single red rose on the pillow next to her with a note.

_Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger. There is really nothing to be said about it. It is like the perfume of a rose: you can smell it and that is all.__  
__-__W. Somerset Maugham_

_Have a wonderful day, my beautiful wife._

_-Jake_

She sat up quickly and found the entire floor of their bedroom covered in multi-colored rose petals. Dressing quickly, she ran down the stairs. The first floor of the house was empty. She discovered another lone rose on the kitchen table.

_'Tis the last rose of summer Left blooming alone; all her lovely companions are faded and gone._

_-Thomas More_

_We all left early to hunt. See you at school. _

_-Jake_

Renesmee didn't know what to think. Jacob was not normally the type of guy to shower her with romantic attention. The roses were lovely, and she appreciated them, but they confused her.

She grabbed a poptart from the kitchen and hurried out the door to her car. She realized the moment she stepped into the garage that there were more roses somewhere close. When she opened the door to her Ferrari Enzo the scent hit her. There were more multi-colored rose petals filling her car.

Shaking her head she drove to school. Alice and Bella met her at the door with wide grins on their faces.

"Ready for class?" Alice asked sweetly.

"I have to stop by my locker quick. Why didn't you tell me last night about your plans this morning?" She asked, confused.

"Last minute thing," Alice answered easily. Renesmee rolled her eyes, knowing that Alice would have known days ago. She unlocked her locker quickly and noticed two more roses leaning against the side with another note. One white, one red.

_"The red rose whispers of passion, and the white rose breathes of love. O, the red rose is a Falcon, and the white rose is a Dove."  
~ John Boyle O'Reilly_

_Can't wait for lunch. Love you so much._

_-Jake_

Renesmee looked up at her mother and Alice. "Do you two know what this is all about?"

"Just let it be," Bella replied. And wrapped her arm around Renesemee waist and led her to their first class.

In every class of the morning, Renesemee found a rose on her desk. But Jacob was absent from every class. Perplexed, Renesmee made her way to lunch surrounded by her family, but missing her husband.

There was a huge crowd outside the cafeteria.

"That is so romantic!"

"What is with this family?"

"Seriously?"

"How much do you think he paid for those roses?"

Renesmee pushed her way through the crowd, knowing she would find her husband on the other side. What she saw stopped her short. The entire lunch room was dark, lit only by candles on each table. Jacob stood near the door in a classic black tuxedo. Rose petals were sprinkled all over the floor and there was a huge bouquet on the center table.

Jacob smiled at her when she entered and leaned forward to grab her hand.

"Sweet letters of the angel tongue, I've loved ye long and well, and never have failed in your fragrance sweet, To find some secret spell,--A charm that has bound me with witching power, For mine is the old belief that midst your sweets and midst your bloom, There's a soul in every leaf!" He quoted.

Renesmee just smiled and kissed him softly.

Emmett, Jasper and Edward stood at the back of the crowd. Jasper and Edward were smiling sadly at Emmett.

"Sorry, but Jacob wins." Edward said quietly, patting Emmett on the arm.

"Yeah, I suppose." He sighed, defeated.

"Perhaps, you should come up with your own idea next time." Jasper suggested. "Not steal one from a nineties chick flick."

Emmett smiled, "I don't know. Rosalie didn't like it when it happened, but later that night, she was very appreciative." His grin stretched across his face.

"EMMETT!" Rosalie's voice screeched over the sound of the crowd.

"I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!" Emmett apologized as he followed her out of the school. "Come on Rose!"

"After all these years, you would think he would learn." Jasper sighed as he watched his brother grovel in the parking lot.

Edward just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. "But it is amusing to watch."

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